AEKIIKEA is ...
I had a lot of respect for the people of Norseland until today. Okay, my Swedish friends please do not think me a bigot, because I love you like lefse, but IKEA is a nightmare realised. Chloe made it apparent to me that my CD collection was brimming over the top of the closet. Okay, closets aren't cups but you get my point with the brimming and all. Anyway, I needed a CD rack to stop this brimming (i will stop with brimming). So, where did we decide to go for this "lid?" IKEA, of course. Now, this seemed like a fantastic plan. IKEA, filled with useful cheap items that come unassembled waiting to be solutions to your unorganized, sloppy life.
5 reasons that make IKEA a nightmare.
1. It is big. Big like a stadium. Big like your mama's behind. It's that big. Oh, and the little tiny map does not show the shortcuts. Follow the kids with the Urban Outfitters sale item t-shirts for those.
2. It is packed with idiots out shopping. Thats right IKEA fans, you are idiots. Take that!
3. Where are all the carts? Is there a secret handshake to get one? I had to hit on a little old lady to find some wheels for my CD "Media Storage Unit."
4. What the fuck is a Media Storage Unit? I was expecting Tom Brokaw to come popping out when I opened the smoked glass doors.
5. Why is there a Swedish food store in the FURNITURE STORE? Do little thin wafer cookies fit in with the snackbar's .99 cent hotdog or the cinnibon-like rolls? No, they don't. And why would I want a chocolate named after a KILLER bird anyway? A KILLER BIRD! A MARABOU! MURDERERS!
5 reasons that make IKEA a nightmare.
1. It is big. Big like a stadium. Big like your mama's behind. It's that big. Oh, and the little tiny map does not show the shortcuts. Follow the kids with the Urban Outfitters sale item t-shirts for those.
2. It is packed with idiots out shopping. Thats right IKEA fans, you are idiots. Take that!
3. Where are all the carts? Is there a secret handshake to get one? I had to hit on a little old lady to find some wheels for my CD "Media Storage Unit."
4. What the fuck is a Media Storage Unit? I was expecting Tom Brokaw to come popping out when I opened the smoked glass doors.
5. Why is there a Swedish food store in the FURNITURE STORE? Do little thin wafer cookies fit in with the snackbar's .99 cent hotdog or the cinnibon-like rolls? No, they don't. And why would I want a chocolate named after a KILLER bird anyway? A KILLER BIRD! A MARABOU! MURDERERS!
posted by Playground Superstar at 8:18 PM
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